Helicopter parents – I have a beef with you.
It’s the summer, so naturally I’ve been taking my kids to more activities, and I’m noticing that you often stay with your kids at events that are clearly meant for them to attend on their own.
Case in point: my child went to a creative workshop at our local library tonight, and almost every parent stayed. Just to be clear, this program is for kids ages 7-12 (not a toddler or preschool program) with both male and female adult facilitators in attendance.
All of a sudden, my daughter, who is an otherwise confident, friendly 8-year-old, wants me to stay… assuming there must be something to be wary of, since all of YOU aren’t leaving.
Ask yourself these questions…
Are you contributing to your child’s sense of independence and self-sufficiency by hovering over him?
Does she learn trust, when you don’t give her the opportunity to trust others (in a safe, organized environment) or herself?
Our kids need to learn that they are capable of interacting with others and that they can take care of themselves in social situations that are age-appropriate.
I feel it’s completely unwarranted to insert myself into an experience that is meant for my child’s enrichment. I don’t want to undermine their confidence and keep them from enjoying all that life has to offer.
And, in all honesty, I don’t think it’s healthy for my kids to think parenthood means giving up doing what I love… in this case, perusing books at the library. It’s important for kids to know that we have interests and passions too, and that self-care is a priority. Kids learn by example!
Parents – we need to stop being afraid of all the bad things that *could* happen and, instead, have some faith in our kids, in others, and in our ability to teach them the skills to stay safe.
Let’s not unwittingly instill fear into our children. They need to know we trust them, and in turn, they’ll start to trust in their own abilities and be the amazing, resilient kids we know they are.
(P.S. Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule, such as accompanying children with emotional issues or learning disabilities. I would think that’s obvious, but just wanted to put it out there.)
I think that it's a matter of finding the right balance to give kids independence, and ensuring their safety.
I was raised with quite a bit of independence and that is how I chose to raise my kids. I turned out pretty amazing and still have all of my limbs 😛
Amen sister!!! The things I want my kids to learn more then anything else is: resilience, independence, and problem solving. And those are not things I can teach them if I am guiding their every move. They need to make sure that they can make their own choices (and yes sometimes it will be the wrong one).
I am a helicopter parent – so guilty BUT I am in search for programs for my son where I can drop him off. Not just for the purpose of him having time away but me too 😉
Maybe I'm not a helicopter, but I'm overly cautious on his safety and if he's harming others. That's the nice way of putting it.
I always encourage my children to be independent but have noticed this trend and am not a fan. Parents staying for birthday parties, play dates and other supervised activities urk me too
Amen to this. You're preaching to the choir. I totally agree with all of your points. This is just one of those instances where parents should really not be hovering or in attendance.
Lol. Thanks for posting this. Lately I've been missing having little ones as all my kids are now teens. I'd forgotten about these silly issues. 🙂 You are so so soooo right!