You see, my fun-loving, independent 2-year-old was replaced with The Cling-on from Toddlerville. With his incessant name-calling (“Mama, Mama”), leg-holding and need to always have me within arm’s reach, he sure knew how to make a girl
go crazy feel loved! I vaguely remember going through this phase with my first child but it’s never easy, even when you’ve experienced it before.
Fast forward to today…
While his cling-on ways have improved over the past few months, there are still existing remnants of days past. Each night he asks me to sit in his room while he falls asleep. If I get up to go and tend to his sister, he either cries or sits at his door (it’s got a gate on it) and waits for me to return. This can be quite taxing, especially on the nights when he just won’t stop fidgeting and the bedtime routine turns into a two-hour affair. But, I try to look at it as a blessing, because soon he’ll be too big to want me around all the time, so I do my best to treasure these quiet moments with him.
Now, we’re starting a new journey – preschool! And, while I’m super
excited about it, I’m not sure how he’s going to react. We visited his
new classroom earlier this week and he seemed to love it… in fact, he
didn’t want to leave.
But I was there.
What happens when I
leave? Will he look for me in vain? Despite my assurances that I’ll
return, will he think I’ve left for good?
I know he’s going to love it, but there’s always Mom-guilt. When he cries because I’m not there, I’ll feel it. When he is bored at home during those times I’m working, I’ll feel it. I know going to preschool a few mornings a week will be good for him… and me too.
I’ll just have to get over my guilt and enjoy it.