Most days I feel like a hamster on its wheel, running around in circles, crossing daily tasks from my to-do list and wondering when the hell I’m going to get off.
Almost every day I struggle with balance and doubt the sanity of my decisions… Is working from home really a good idea? Do I spend enough quality time with my kids? Do I play with them enough? When I am with them, am I preoccupied with work? Should I forgo the extra income and mental stimulation from working and simply enjoy being home with them? Why, for the life of me, can’t I get supper on the table at a reasonable hour each night? The list goes on and on, as I’m sure it does for most Moms out there, regardless of their choices.
Most days I find myself either frazzled, frustrated or a combination of the two. My oldest won’t listen when asked to get ready for swimming lessons; my youngest melts down when I finally take the car keys away from him so I can drive the car (car keys are his latest obsession)… you get the idea.
So, when I have a day like today*, I really stop and cherish it. Yes, today was a good day. There was cooperation in spades, smiles all around, no yelling or screaming (from me or them!), playing, laughing, having fun. Ah, this was a day to remember! Days like this remind me that the whining, lack of cooperation and tantrums won’t last forever. But those things are all a part of being little and it’s also a stark reminder that my kids won’t be small for long. So, despite my irritation, I need to try and embrace this stage – the good, the bad and the ugly included. After all, I don’t always have the best of days, and I’m an adult.
Today left me with the feeling that I have made the right decisions for me and my family, that I can (in my own twisted way) balance it all – if only for one day. It gives me hope that maybe I can sustain this balance; I just need to figure out what made today different from other days and capitalize on that. Just one more thing to add to my to-do list…
* “Today” was actually a week ago last Thursday! When you have a day as good as that, there’s not usually time to blog!